I'm Glad My TiVo Records 80 hours (TV shows that I watch regularly)

Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern

Children have terrible taste. All they ever want to eat is hot dogs with potato chips, or meat loaf with mashed potatoes, or hamburgers with french fries, or pizza. That's it. I believe kids should include more offal in their diets.


30 Rock

"I love this cornbread so much I wanna take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant."

"Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets."

"I'm gonna make you a mix tape. You like Phil Collins?"

"Ken, I'll be gone soon, but I just wanted you to know that I've loved being your mentor, and it's been an honor having you be my manatee."

"You can't ask a bird not to fly. You can't ask a fish not to swim. You can't ask a tiger not to turn back into a Chinese person at midnight!"

"Werewolf bar mitzvah, spooky scary / Boys becoming men, men becoming wolves."

"I like to walk around my house naked, to remind my oldest son who's still got the biggest ding-dong."

I'm glad it's finally back.

Ace of Cakes

I'd never pay that much money for a stupid cake (check out their website -- the cheapest are $500) but there are two cute cake decorators..the white brunette girl and the Asian girl. They look like the the types that studied a lot of Neoclassical artwork in school, care (or pretend to care) about the environment, don't eat meat, play NPR in the background to seem overtly intelligent, and take music way too seriously. That's exactly how I like 'em.

King of the Hill

It may not be as iconic as the Simpsons; as politically savvy and socially aware as South Park; or as unapologetically outrageous as Family Guy, but King of the Hill really is one of the greatest animated shows of all time. The quality of their voice-over work is incredible.


Jon & Kate Plus 8

Growing up with seven other siblings (all of whom are the same age) will do one of two things to those kids: make them an extremely loving, close-knit family, or make them really, really weird and maladjusted.

For the record, my Mom is 1 of 6 and my Dad is 1 of 7. They should've had a reality TV show.



The Riches

Sometimes the storyline can move a little slow, but watching it always puts me in the mood to commit a crime.






What Not To Wear

Haha, all of these contestants are so full of it -- ratty, tattered, oversized clothing is NOT "comfortable."









Top Chef

I was really happy with last Wednesday's episode. The right person got voted off...whats-her-face, the chick who was 1/2 of that lesbian couple. The two of them went on and on about how hard it was to compete against each other, how they didn't have the heart to see the other go home, how uncomfortable it was to crush the career aspirations of their partner, blah blah blah. I hate that stuff. That's a sign of weakness. After she got voted off, she even said something along the lines of, "I'm not here to compete. I'm here to cook," or something equally as spineless. That's a loser's attitude and exactly why she got kicked off. Life is a competition. I wanna beat everyone at everything all the time, even loved ones. Some people just don't have any guts.