Headlines (Pirates spent a lot of man hours digging; Awful People; He's the Juggernaut!)

Lawmaker: State's treasure could ease budget mess

''In a tough budget year,'' Zapata said, ``we have some interesting goodies in the closet. Why not have an interesting garage sale, put them out there and see what we can get for them? The question now is, what's the value?'' -- the Sun-Sentinel

I think this is a great idea. If some rich idiot wants to pay us top dollar for the shiny junk we find at the bottom of the ocean off our coastlines, let him have it. We've got plenty of that stuff to spare, so the rest of the pirate treasure and sunken artifacts we decide to keep can continue to collect dust in our local museums. Sounds like win-win. There are so many budgetary needs, and we as taxpayers -- even with the luxury of having no actual state tax -- can only be bled so dry through public funding. Money will always be an issue, so our local government needs to capitalize on forward-thinking, outside-the-box strategies like this one.

And my favorite part of the articles is the mention of "doubloons."

Beaten cheerleader's mom says video was hard to watch

"Nichols [mother of one of the charged teenagers] described Mercades as 'really a loving, caring kid.'" -- the Sun-Sentinel

Things like this always amaze me. Whenever a malicious and degenerate crime is committed -- like, for example, a group of teens ganging up on a girl and brutally beating her brains in -- there always someone related to the accused...be it friend, family, lover, or otherwise...that always tries to make the case that so-and-so is really a "loving" and "caring" person.

That's bullshit.

I can understand a mother standing behind her daughter and offering her moral support in a difficult situation, but get real. Someone who bludgeons a poor, defenseless girl (who, judging by the video, couldn't weight more than 85 lbs.) while videotaping the beating for YouTube is NOT a good person. Unless we're making up new definitions for words now, I don't buy it. Your daughter is a scumbag. Doesn't mean you can't still love her, but it's important to face the facts.

Dolphins fullback facing battery charge

"Mauia allegedly asked Gianatassio ''what the [expletive] he was looking at,'' to which Gianatassio responded that he ''wasn't looking at anyone,'' according to Braun.

Mauia allegedly became upset and said, ''you should know'' as he approached the victim. ''All of a sudden Mauia punched Gianatassio in the face with a closed fist,'' the police report stated. ``The punch caused the victim to pass out and fall to the ground.''

Mauia then allegedly fled in a black Cadillac Escalade." -- the Miami Herald

If that's true, sucks to be Reagan Mauia. It doesn't bode well for his playing career, because getting arrested isn't the best way to endear yourself to a brand new coach, general manager, and VP of football operations. And more importantly, it doesn't bode well for his manhood, because I never support people who pick on those who are smaller than them. And with Mauia listed at 270 lbs., I'm betting this guy was half his size.

Ah well, if he sticks around (which I'm assuming will be the case), he seemed to be a decent lead blocker. And if he gets cut (which I doubt), he's just a FB. Unless you're Lorenzo Neal, you can be replaced easily.

And I think most people will remember Mauia for that YouTube video of his best Juggernaut impression, running full speed through a wall. Incidentally, it's not that impressive. It's not like it was a load-bearing wall or anything.