Headlines (Filipino Pride; dolla' dolla' bills, y'all; I wish her luck in her future endeavors as a singer and actress; Vanilla Ice did it too)

Pat Riley out, Erik Spoelstra in as Miami Heat coach

From a basketball point of view, I think this is a good move. It's sad to see a Hall of Fame coach finally call it quits, but he's getting old; the game will soon pass him by, if it hasn't already.

But more importantly, from a personal point of view, I'm thrilled because this is incredible news. Simply put, Filipino's love basketball. We really do have a passion for it, an intense appreciation for it as a sport. So for one of us to finally make it big in the NBA -- in a position as high-ranking and prestigious as head coach, no less -- is ground-breaking. This is a big step forward for us, and definitely well-deserved. In a sport that's played entirely by black people and managed entirely by white people, it's so rewarding to see Filipino-Americans finally carve out its own small niche in this market. That's some serious progression, and I'm proud.

All of this is so unprecedented and cool and unexpected and surreal. Next thing you know, something else crazy is gonna happen, like a black man being elected president. Haha.


Stimulus checks arrive, but will they work?

I'm not financially savvy enough to know whether or not this plan will successfully jump start our economy, but I do know that I can't wait for my check to get here.

It's interesting, because this article predicts that most people will not go spend-crazy with this money, opting instead to use it practically and conservatively, like on groceries and credit card debt and stuff. Incidentally, I intend on doing the exact OPPOSITE of that. I plan on using that stimulus check for a big luxury purchase, probably using it to help offset the price of a new macbook. Technically, all of this "extra" money really isn't extra at all anyway. It's still YOUR money out of YOUR own pocket; it's just given to you in advance and in one lump sum. So yeah, I guess I could use it to pay off student loans or something as equally responsible, but the way I see it is, I would never treat myself to this money any other way. If it weren't for the instant gratification of these stimulus checks, the money would be sit in my bank account. So when given this chance to spend (and highly encouraged to spend by the government), I might as well take advantage of this opportune windfall and do something I otherwise probably wouldn't do.

Hence, the macbook.

Spitzer call girl sues 'Girls Gone Wild' for $10 million

The call girl linked to the downfall of former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer sued the founder of the "Girls Gone Wild" series on Monday for $10 million, claiming he exploited her image and name to advertise the racy videos. -- the Sun-Sentinel

I can understand the motive behind this lawsuit; people are making big money off of her and she wants a slice of that cheddar. Fine, I totally get that. But the what made me laugh is the suggestion that Girls Gone Wild has "exploited" her name and image anymore than she's already exploited it herself. She's been publicly outed as a hooker -- aside from being revealed to also being a cannibal, I'm not sure her good name can be defamed any further.


Specially groomed eyebrows a headache at Oregon high school

A Portland high school is raising eyebrows with its brow grooming policy: shave 'em or go home.

Some students at Centennial High School have shaved vertical lines into their eyebrows in a trend recently made popular by hip-hop star Soulja Boy. School officials say the mark looks like a gang symbol.

Centennial administrators are telling students with the lines that they can't return to school until they shave their eyebrows off. Assistant Principal Mark Porterfield said the students are not suspended, but they are not allowed in school until they cooperate. -- the Sun-Sentinel

Haha, this is ridiculous and irrational. Talk about a school board totally overreacting. They have their policy, they have a specific dress code and decorum in mind that they want their student to abide by. That's cool, I can understand that. But this really unfair. I absolutely cannot support the practice of forcing students to mutilate themselves -- and yes, that's exactly what it is, mutilation. Try shaving off your eyebrows and see how retarded you look. This goes beyond punishment; this is public humiliation. These school officials should be ashamed of themselves for publicly embarrassing these students like this. It's a case of adults bullying children, and that's an abuse of power. To pressure teenagers -- and the worst part of all this is that it's pressuring to the point where they won't be allowed back into school -- into purposely make themselves look stupid at an age where nothing is more important than physical appearance is extremely cruel and insensitive.

And I get the concern over kids flaunting gang-related paraphernalia, but c'mon, this isn't Compton or Queensbridge we're talking about. It's Portland, Oregon. Let's get some perspective here.

What I Had For Lunch 4/29/08 (the bags are so puffed up because theyre filled with nitrogen to protect the chips from breakage)

I made an amazing sandwich (roast beef, maple ham, turkey pastrami, provolone cheese, miracle whip, deli mustard) on freshly baked bread. And I grilled it on the stove top with lots of butter (and real butter, not I Can't Believe It's Not Butter), getting it perfectly crusty and crisp on both sides.

In accompaniment, the obligatory kettle-cooked potato chips.

"Welcome to Die!" (or, X-Men: The Arcade Game)

No contest, this was my favorite arcade game as a kid (with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the Simpsons coming in at 2nd and 3rd, respectively).

Gameplay was fun and fast-paced; graphics were sharp and vibrant; all the bosses at the end of each level were cool; and best of all, you could play with all six X-Men (Nightcrawler, Wolverine, Colossus, Storm, Cyclops, and Dazzler) at the same time. It was the best when you could get everything organized and strategic, making sure everyone was on the same page and understands the plan of attack. This usually meant one half of the team would fight off the Sentinels coming from the right side of the screen with the other half taking care of the left side's Sentinels, which ultimately resulted in everyone covering everyone else's back. And then by the end of the level, everyone could use their mutant power (which we all wisely saved) to gang up on the Blob or the Juggernaut or Mystique or whoever the boss was.

This is obviously something that could only happen in my wildest and zaniest of dreams, but it'd be amazing to actually own one of these and have it in my house and be able to play it anytime I want.

What I Had For Lunch 4/28/08

I went to a Japanese buffet with my mom and aunt; thankfully, they both sat on the same side of the booth and didn't block me in.

I had all the typical stuff you get at these places -- skewered chicken teriyaki, spring rolls, vegetable tempura, fried rice, hot & sour soup, lo mein, steamed veggies, sesame chicken. I also had some sushi and seaweed salad.

For dessert, I had ice cream, sliced bananas in syrup, assorted pieces of cake (they were all dry). And for whatever reason, whenever I go to buffets, I always feel completely and thoroughly compelled to get those blocks of red jell-o.

It was a good lunch...and the fact that I was starving to death by the time I got there made it even better.

And the ugliest people are always in buffets on weekdays at 11:30 in the morning.

Headlines (Jaws 3...in 3-D!; just do it; gasoline; yeah, she's pretty good looking; I give Miami's draft a B+)

2 surfers bitten by sharks at New Smyrna Beach

I eat right and get plenty of exercise, so I don't see myself as a candidate for heart disease. I look both ways before crossing the street, so I don't expect to get involved in a hit-and-run. And I don't sell rocks, so I don't expect to get shot in a drug deal gone awry.

So by the power of deduction, all sound reasoning points to me, in all likelihood, dying by shark attack. I'm of flesh and blood; sharks like that sort of thing. So it makes a lot of sense.

Yes, it's an irrational fear, but there are honestly very few things that I can think of that are scarier than the idea of being bitten by shark while swimming. And maybe even worse than death, I'm terrified by the prospect of being maimed. To look down and realize you're missing a leg would be horrible. It makes my stomach weak just thinking of it.

We're all familiar with the standard cliche that people bring up during these conversations -- "you're more likely to be hit by lightning than be bit by a shark" -- but am I the only one who seriously questions the legitimacy of that statistic? Granted, I haven't been keeping an officiall tally, but that just SOUNDS plain wrong. It seems like I hear something about shark attacks fairly often, especially starting at around this time of year. Lightning-strike victims, not so much...or at least not to my immediate knowledge. From a logistical standpoint, I would wager that the amount of people who visit the beach generally outnumber the amount of people who sit on sit on their roofs and polish their silverware while it's raining. I dunno, maybe my guesstimations are a little off, but I theorize that the shark attack/lightning strike thing is completely unfounded; that it's propaganda started by a person (or a group of like-minded people) who really loves swimming in the ocean but really hates thunderstorms.

Oddly enough, I consider shark's to be the planet's most interesting animals and the Discovery Channel's annual "Shark Week" is the year's most compelling 7 days of television.

Oh, and these two shark attack victims escaped without any serious injuries, so that's good.


Clinton challenges Obama to Lincoln-Douglas style debate

Clinton took the debate dispute to a new level, challenging Obama to face off with her in a debate without a moderator, Lincoln-Douglas style.

"Just the two of us, going for 90 minutes, asking and answering questions, we'll set whatever rules seem fair," Clinton said while campaigning in South Bend.

Her campaign made the offer formal with a letter to the Obama campaign.

Obama aides said he had already debated Clinton 21 times, "the most in primary history." -- Associated Press

I'm all for this.

Obama has already turned down Hilary's offer and doesn't seem receptive to it at all at anytime in the near future. He reasons that it would be unnecessary because they've already debated 21 times, but that's not entirely true -- to date, I believe they've only debated one-on-one, head-to-head a total of 5 times. And I don't know what Obama is afraid of; when it comes to the court of public opinion for these kind of things, charisma and likability (as opposed to actual policy) is usually what makes the biggest impressions on voters. So with that being the case, it wouldn't take much for Obama to "win" the debate. And besides, as I've written before, I consider this type of direct competition absolutely essential in a campaign race this evenly matched. Still, after all this time, neither candidate has effectively separated themselves from the other. Hilary continues to hang in there, buzzing around like an annoying little gnat; and Obama has failed to deliver the knock-out punch, continuously letting his opponent off the hook. We still don't have our definitive nominee for the democratic party, so this debate (and other extracurricular opportunities like it) just gives all Americans another reason to make up their minds and confidently pick a candidate. And if he doesn't want to do that, then I guess we can all just go ahead and vote independent.

10 things you should know about gas prices

On its homepage, MSN posted a relatively impartial article about gas prices that covers all the basics -- supply and demand, economics 101, the role of oil refineries, fuel alternatives, etc., etc. With gas prices rising to crazy stupid new heights, I think people may benefit from checking it out. It's important for all of us to educate ourselves on the situation and realize that it isn't JUST about Bush, Cheney, and Haliburton.



Megan Fox tops FHM's sexiest women list

To avoid looking blatantly bigoted, FHM should really change the title of their list from "sexiest women in the world" to the more accurate "sexiest women in the WESTERN world."

But aside from that egregious misrepresentation, I guess it's hard to argue too much with their top choice.





Miami Dolphins: Draft Tracker

So the NFL Draft is finally over and I'm pretty happy with what we got.

As I've said before, OT Jake Long at #1 was a great pick that'll anchor the offensive line for years. He'll protect our QB's blindside and plow gaping running lanes for Ronnie Brown. We got the biggest, strongest guy in the draft.

Considering that many experts say he would've been a Top 15 pick if not for a minor hernia injury last season, taking DE Philip Merling at #32 was a steal. We had the worst run-defense in the league. We couldn't stop the run at all. An assorted bunch of bums and nobodies were gaining 100+ yard games against us. So I totally support plugging in another young, strong D-Lineman.

I wasn't sold on QB Chad Henne at #57 at first. I saw a player who wasn't that exciting, explosive, or mobile. As everyone remembers, he and his Wolverines lost to Appalachian State. And as a whole, Michigan's offense was relatively mediocre. But many did consider him the 2nd best quarterback in the draft behind Matt Ryan. And we did scoop him up all the way at the very end of the 2nd round. So from a value standpoint, it does seem like we got a good deal and I'm slowly warming up the idea of him joining the team. He's got a great arm, and from what everyone says, he's supposedly a natural born leader. We've been looking for a legit QB for too long now, so between him and John Beck competing this summer, hopefully we've finally found one. If nothing else, he seems like he's got a good head on his shoulders and is very even-keeled. I'm willing to give him a chance.

We traded down from our spot at the top of Round 3 (I can understand why, but I still would've liked to see Kevin Smith in a Dolphins uniform) and took DT Kendall Langford at #66. From a lot of things I've read online, it seems like this may have been a bit of a reach. But it's hard to get too mad about it considering he stands at 6'6" 295 lbs. That's monstrous. With our 3-4 defensive scheme, we need our defensive lineman to be as big and strong and fat as possible. This is someone who will take up two blockers on every single snap.

We struck a deal with the Bears to move up to #110 and took OT Shawn Murphy. From what I read, he's big and he's Mormon. That's cool. Our locker room could always use more lineman. And more religious diversity.

RB Jalen Parmele went at #176. With Ronnie coming off a blown out knee, Ricky Williams being addicted to the ganja, and Lorenzo Booker getting traded to Philadelphia (I really hated seeing him go), we needed a running back. Hence, a running back.

OG Donald Thomas, RB Lex Hilliard, and DE Lionel Dotson were are last three picks of the day. And at that point, you just hope that one of them can hopefully stick and maybe contribute a little bit on special teams, or at the very least compete on the practice squad.

It's gonna take us another free agency period and another draft to start seriously thinking about contention, but this was a good start. I don't have any major complaints about how we did.

Retired Players I Loved To Watch #8 (remember when he used to frost his hair?)

Kendall Gill

In college, he played on those exciting Flyin' Illini teams. When he was first drafted, he played on those dope Zo / Grandmama / Muggsy Bogues teams. Then later on, he played on some awful New Jersey Nets teams and bounced around the league his last couple of seasons.

But by the time he retired, I still appreciate him for being one of the most versatile players in the league throughout the 90s. He could essentially play 3 different positions: he had the ball-handling skills and court vision to play point guard; he had the athleticism and scoring ability to play shooting guard; and he had the size and strength to hold his ground at small forward.

When he was a Hornet and Sonic (and early on in his stay with the Nets) he was so much to watch in the open court. He was like a blur on the fastbreak; he had great foot speed from endcourt to endcourt, and he had the lift to dunk on anybody. And what really set him apart was the fact that he was a two-way player -- he defended just as well as he scored. He could lock down on the opposing team's best perimeter player one-on-one, and he was an ace when it came to playing the passing lane and picking off passes. I watched him terrorize the Heat one afternoon with 11 steals in a single game.

But what really surprised me about him was how fast (and how severely) his jumpshot fell off towards the end of his career. By about 2000 or so, he couldn't shoot straight. It was like he completely forgot how. Everything was wrong -- his footwork, release, follow-through, aim. I don't know if it was a mental block or something, but when it was at its worst, Gill had one of the butt-ugliest jumpers in the league. It was flat and heavy, with no rotation at all. For someone who used to be a 20 PPG scorer, all of a sudden he couldn't throw the ball into the ocean. And it really effected his overall game, because defenders started sagging off him and cutting off all his driving lanes to the basket.

Oh, and of course, he appeared in that one episode of "My Brother and Me." haha



Kendall Gill's career statistics

Party Shuffle (No skipping)

I usually post the first 10 shuffled songs that come up on my iTunes, but this time I'm giving you your money's worth and listing the first 15.

"AT&T"
Pavement
Wowee Zowee

I don't listen to much Pavement these days. I can't remember the last time I purposely put on one of their albums, or purposely played one of their specific songs. They'll only come up on shuffle now. I dunno, I guess they don't matter as much to me now as they used to when I was younger. But this is one of their songs that I'm always happy to hear. I immediately sit up straighter in my seat when it comes on. It's just a good vibe. My favorite part of the whole song is his stuttering: "ne-ne-ne-never," "da-da-da-dark," "ev-ev-ev-ever." It makes it fun to sing along to.

"Hey Bulldog"
The Beatles
Yellow Submarine

This is their only throw-away album in their entire catalog. I guess they just needed a soundtrack to sell along with the movie. But even though most of the tracks are just fluff, this is song is FUN. The pounding intro piano riff at the beginning is infectious. You can feel that the energy is high during the recording. And all of the goofing around and ad-libbing at the end is classic.

"Roots Radical"
Rancid
...And Out Come The Wolves

I have the same deal here I have with Pavement -- Rancid doesn't have the same effect on me now than it did when I was younger. In middle school, this was fresh and exciting; but listening to this song as an adult, I'm bored. It seems more than a little bit silly now.

Also, another problem with this album is too many tracks. It has 19. There should never be that many on a single disc. That's just 19 whole opportunities to make me shut it off.

But songs like "Ruby Soho" and "Time Bomb" are still fun.

"Don't Know Why"
Norah Jones
Come Away With Me

"Out across the endless sea / I would die in ecstasy" is an awesome line.





"This Is Not An Exit"
Saves the Day
Stay What You Are

This was easily one of the five most important albums to me (disclaimer: this, of course, excludes any Beatles albums, because practically all of them take precedence over anything else) in high school...and know knows, depending on my mood, I can make a strong case for it being THE most important album to me.

I love how smoothly he delivers the line "And while we stand knee deep in the flow / the undertow will grab our heels and won't let go."

It bums me out to think that this was their artistic peak and everything else after was downhill. It feels weird to face the reality that one of my favorite bands of all time hasn't done anything that measures up in the seven long years that this album was released. That's sobering.

"Flamenco Sketches"
Miles Davis
Kind of Blue

Sometimes I'm in the mood to listen to jazz, most times I'm not. And this is one of the times I'm not.

You have to be in the right frame of mind. You have to have the time (and the patience) to sit through this and really labor through all the nuances, all the chord changes and tonal complexities. But I don't have time for all that right now.

And you also have to be in the right position, too. I think it's best to be laying down. Or at the very least, lounging. I've got it all wrong; I'm hunched over in front of a laptop.

"My Way"
Frank Sinatra
Sinatra Reprise

Observation has taught me that this is arguably everyone's favorite Sinatra song to sing for Karaoke, especially at weddings.

I think I would sing "It Was A Very Good Year."


"Whip-Smart"
Liz Phair
Whip-Smart

Sometimes I forget how much I like the stuff she was releasing during the low-fi, Riot Grrl times of the early '90s. "Supernova" was the big hit off this album, but I think this might be my favorite track. And for those that don't know, that indistinguishable line in the chorus is "When they do the double dutch, that's them dancing." Yeah, I didn't know that either for the longest time.

And I think Whitechocolatespaceegg is somewhere in the pile of CDs I've been meaning to upload to my iTunes for years but never, ever get around to it.

"California Love"
2Pac
All Eyez On Me

For the sake of accuracy, I'm obligated to mention that this version of the song (that is, the radio version that we're all most familiar with) technically wasn't ever released on this album; instead, I think this version was released solely as a single and the version that actually makes it on here is the weaker remix (which is usually the case with remixes, but whatever).

Anyway, I always notice how this almost seems like two different song. I like Dr. Dre fine, but his opening verse seems slow and sluggish. It's alright, but overall it just feels lacking for some reason. And then you realize why when Tupac jumps in -- his verse is infinitely better. It's like, bang, night and day. His is so much more dynamic and urgent.

And of course, this song taught us that Inglewood is always up to no good.

"This Diamond Ring"
Gary Lewis and the Playboys
Legendary Masters Series

This song was always playing in my house growing up, so it beings back visceral memories of being little. And I think they're really charming in their old fashioned, squeaky clean sort of way.

And apparently Gary is the son of Jerry Lewis. I didn't know that until recently. I guess it's too bad, because he has a very unfunny father.

"You Only Live Once"
The Strokes
First Impressions of Earth

With this being their third album (which was exactly like the album before that, which was exactly like the album before that...) I think most people have grown tired of their standard New York-centric garage band, early '00s sound by now. But this is a fun, catchy track. And I seem to remember the lead singer wearing some dope ass shoes in the music video.


"La Bamba"
Richie Valens
The Very Best of Richie Valens

I dare anyone to try and say this song ISN'T fun. I love it. It always leaves me in high spirits. And it's my favorite song that's sung at least partially in another language, beating both the Beatles' "Michelle" and Goldfinger's "99 Red Balloons."

And I'll go ahead and extend my sincerest apologies in advance to the Big Bopper's family, because I suggest that from here on out we should all stop mentioning his name when referring to that famous plane crash. It should be Valens, Buddy Holly, and "the other guy." Sorry, but the Big Bopper was awful.

"Atmosphere"
Joy Division
Substance

This is such a perfect title for the overall vibe and feel of this song. It really is atmospheric and expansive; it envelops the entire room; it sounds like everything is going on all around you. Although I actually do prefer their more dancey, uptempo, punk-influenced tracks like "Shadowplay" and "Transmission" and, of course, "Love Will Tear Us Apart." I dig the signature droning and haunting quality of Ian Curtis' vocals, but often, it can feel like an anchor around your neck.

"The Boy With The Thorn In His Side"
The Smiths
The Queen is Dead

Heh, it seems kind of fitting that this would come next.

And I would normally find this nearly impossible to do (because there's just so many great ones to choose from), but I think this may be my favorite Smiths song ever. And even if it really isn't, it is for this one moment. From Johnny Marr's joyous struming at the beginning to Morrissey's yodeling at the close, this song always puts me in an amazing mood. I can't sit still when I hear it come on.

"Mr. Tambourine Man"
Bob Dylan
Bringing It All Back Home

More often than not, I prefer the Byrds' cover of this song. It's lighter, brighter, and naturally, much shorter.

What I Had For Dinner 4/24/08

Went to El Mariachi, the one by the mall.

I've been craving tacos real hard for the past couple days, so it was great to finally have some. I had hard shell, 2 chicken and 1 ground beef. It was so good. I was extremely satisfied.

Afterwards, I got a piece of tres leche cake. That has to be a Top 5 favorite dessert of mine.

And I've noticed the stereotypical Mexican songs -- like, say, "La Cucaracha" for example -- they play at stereotypical Mexican-themed restaurants always makes feel upbeat and really puts me in the mood to eat. When you're in there, it's all good times. There's a vague, understated sense of ethnic insensitivity about it all, but it's also irresistibly festive. lol

What I Had For Dinner 4/23/08

Fried Rice.

Meh, it wasn't good. Well below average. I got it from a place that's usually up and down -- sometimes the food is great, sometimes not so great. There was too much meat, not enough rice. And there was a funny aftertaste.

The spring roll that came with it was alright, I guess, but it's hard to mess up a spring roll.

I'm still hungry.

Retired Players I HATED Watching #1 (This is kind of like the thing where I list players that I like, but this time, it's players I don't like)

Corliss Williamson

They gave him the complimentary nickname "Big Nasty" in college for his bruising back-to-the-basket play. But it might as well have been pejorative, because in the pros, Williamson was terribly boring to watch.

"Tweeners" are players who don't fit a set position, falling somewhere inbetween. Like, a natural shooting guard who has a scorer's mentality but is forced to play point guard because he's too short. Or a 6'9" post player forced to play center because he's too sluggish and plodding. Or in Williamson's case, a player that has the build and skillset for power forward, but has the height of a small forward. Those SF/PF tweeners are probably the worst kind.

In college, Corliss was an animal. He was able to use his width and brute strength to bowl people over and score at point black range. But he didn't have that luxury in the NBA. Everyone was just as strong as he was, so he couldn't go through them. And he was too slugging and unathletic to go around them. So he was stuck in No Man's Land. Watching him receive the ball in the low-post was brutal; he had no fluidity, no burst, no fancy footwork. He basically had one go-to move -- barrel his way backwards unti he was at the front of the rim. And even then he was likely to get his shot blocked because he was so squat and lacked any kind of lift off the floor.

He won a national NCAA championship at Arkansas (and one with the Pistons too, I think), but that was the highlight of his career. Once he made it to the NBA, he embarked on a long and uneventful career predicated on being undersized, holding onto the ball for too long, being a poor rebounder, and over-dribbling the ball in the paint.

And the fans in Sacramento came up with another nickname for him: Scoreless Williamson. I thought that was pretty spot-on.

Corliss Williamson's career statistics



Haha, and check this video. Corliss chucks the ball at Jermaine O'Neal. lol

Headlines (Hilary wins Pennsylvania; Fly good Fleance, fly, fly, fly; Old ladies; and Isiah Thomas)

Clinton's victory leaves both Democrats with battle scars

I actually have to give Hilary big ups for winning the Pennsylvania primary. Considering the crushing wave of momentum Obama was riding as recently as a month ago, it's a testament to her resiliency that she's still a legitimate force this late in the game. I figured she'd already be K.O.'ed by now. She really came up clutch, because if she would've lost yesterday, it would've been lights out for her. And while most pundits still give an overall edge to Obama, I begrudgingly respect her fighting spirit; she's a stiff, unlikeable Ice Queen with a fondness for flip-flopping (driver's licenses for illegal immigrants, anyone?), but I kinda, sorta respect her defiant refusal to quit fighting for what --and more to the point, who -- she genuinely believes is best for the country.

And this is what stood out to me as the most interesting part of the article:

"While Democrats remain angry over the Iraq war, the economy and President Bush, they've grown less inclined to accept their favorite candidate's Democratic opponent as a prospective president.

The deepening Clinton-Obama schism became more pronounced after last Wednesday's Philadelphia debate.

''I love Obama,'' said Aimee Brace, a Williamsport housewife who switched her registration to Democrat. ``He has a real down-to-earth way. If Clinton gets it, I don't know what I'd do. I'd be lost.'' -- the Miami Herald

Looks like democratic voters are still EXTREMELY split on the two candidates. Neither side seems overly eager or willing to support their chosen favorite's opponent if and when they should eventually lost out on the nomination. I think that level of polarization, especially in the same party, is fascinating; and something I can whole heartedly relate to. I'm just like the lady in the quote, if Obama doesn't get the nod, I honestly don't know what to do. I've already made it well known that I'm not crazy about Hilary. And I don't like our country's current status quo, so I don't want to vote for more-of-the-same McCain. So in the '08 elections, I might be doing a personal first and actually vote independent.

Also in the article, party Chairman Howard Dean expressed urgency for the superdelegates to make up their minds about their nomination, saying ''I need them to say who they're for, starting now. We've got to know who our nominee is." And for the most part, I can agree with that. It is important to know where the democratic party stands. But at the same time, I can actually appreciate this kind of parity. If your party has a runaway, standout option to nominate for the presidency, then awesome; go for it. But if it's a situation like this, where both candidates seem so evenly matched, appearing to have the same amount of weaknesses and red flags, then I think it's best to let them fight it out for as long as possible. If neither is already an EXTRAORDINARY politician as is (which I'm not entirely convinced of yet, including Obama), then you might as well try to make and mold them into one via direct, cutthroat competition against the other. One will make the other stronger, hopefully.

Shakespeare's World Quiz

MSN had a Shakespeare quiz on it's homepage, so I thought it'd be fun to try it out and see what my Bachelor's degree is worth. I was disappointed because it was mostly biographical, rather than focusing on his actual body of work, but I still scored 9 out of 10. I honestly didn't know that the people in the cheap seats at the Globe Theatre were called "stinkards." I thought they were "penny-pinchers."

Anyway, give it a try.

And regarding this portrait, it's funny how much Shakespeare looks like an effeminate pirate. Or, a sissy-boy swashbuckler.



Teen forces senile woman, 85, to make "gangsta" video

Okay, this was hands down the most unintentionally-hilarious article title I've seen in a very long time. Haha. I was so excited to click on it, my hands were shaking. Just from the title alone, there were so many possibilities, so many different ways the article could go. And they even posted the video itself! The poor old lady is dressed in a black ski mask, pointing a gun at the camera. LOL.

"Alfinez, who lives west of Lake Worth, admitted to investigators that he dressed up the woman and got her to say things for the video even though he knows she is senile. He also admitted to placing a black mask on her head and firing shots while driving a car near 20-Mile Bend, the junction of State Road 80 and County Road 880, the report said.

"This is for all the pigs," and "I'll shoot you," she says in one of her more decorous remarks. Behind her, Michael Alfinez, 18, is directing her in what to say, according to a detective's report." -- the Sun-Sentinel

And I find it reassuring that there's such an abundance of young people in this country who glorify violence, drug dealing, and street crime. That means there will always be people available to flip burgers, mow lawns, and scrub toilets. That's good to know.


Knicks tell Thomas to stay away from team

So they stripped him of his President title, General Manager title, and Coaching title. And now they've instructed him to have zero contact with any of the players. And he's technically still "employed" by the team? Haha, that's awesome. What a train wreck. Nothing's going right for him. Isiah was one of the best PGs of all time, but when it comes to anything other than dribbling a ball, he's hopelessly inept. He ruined the CBA as its majority owner, didn't do anything as an executive for the Toronto Raptors, didn't accomplish that much more coaching the Indiana Pacers, and has successfully made the New York Knicks the laughingstock of the entire league. Oh, and he stunk as an on-air analyst too. He sucks at almost everything. Peep his picture; it looks like he's bumming pretty hard. LOL.

What I Had For Dinner 4/22/08

Pork chops.

They were good.

And since pork tends to be very dry, you should marinate it in a brine -- 1 cup of salt in 1 gallon of water, with whatever other seasonings (whole peppercorns, crushed garlic cloves, brown sugar, etc., etc.) thrown into the mix. This way it'll guarantee to stay moist. And I prefer cooking it on the grill.

Headines (Happy Earth Day...well, sort of; smoke cigarettes, earn money; Toronto cuts F. Thomas)

In trees vs. solar fight, solar wins

I'm typically all for Earth Day; I encourage everyone to live clean, be environmentally conscious, and conserve energy whenever possible. But the Devil's advocate in me wants to bring up this recent article in ironic celebration of the holiday:

"The showdown began in 2001, when neighbor Mark Vargas installed a 10-kilowatt solar system on his roof and on a 10-foot-high trellis.

Vargas said he first asked Treanor and Bissett to chop down eight redwoods that the couple had planted from 1997 to 1999 along the fence separating their yards. The trees range in height from about 20 to 40 feet tall. Later, he asked them to trim the trees to about 15 feet high.

Treanor and Bissett liked the trees for privacy. They suggested Vargas move his solar panels, which make up an array that is about three times the size of a typical residential system. He said doing so would reduce the amount of electricity they could generate for his five-bedroom home and electric car.

After several years of failed mediation, Vargas filed a complaint with the Santa Clara County district attorney arguing that the trees violated California's "Solar Shade Control Act," a rarely used law signed in 1978 by former Gov. Jerry Brown." -- San Jose Mercury News

Haha, I think this is so awesome! This Vargas guy is so green that he wants to cut down beautiful, healthy redwood trees to make room for his solar panels. Now THAT is commitment to the cause. That's literally missing the forest for the trees. LOL. You can't make up this kind of irony; he wants the trees mowed down because the shadows they cast prevent his panels from operating at maximum efficiency, but he's completely overlooking the fact that those same trees offer habitat for wildlife; stores away harmful pollutants, keeping them out of your lungs; and beautifies our landscapes. That kind of jarring short-sightedness would be akin to me wanting to build a safe sanctuary for the endangered panda to live without fear of poachers...but then building it right on top of the Everglades. We should all strive for alternative forms of energy, but it's this kind self-righteous tunnel vision that detracts from both the urgency and legitimacy of adopting a cleaner, greener lifestyle.

Thousands of ailing Florida smokers to to split $600 million tobacco fund

Thousands of sick smokers in Florida could be eligible for money from a $600 million fund in a landmark Miami-Dade County case against the country's five largest tobacco companies.

"It's a unique and historic opportunity for people who have been victimized by the tobacco industry," said attorney Robert Kelley, whose law firm is representing about 500 clients who could qualify for the fund. "Nowhere in the nation is this available but Florida." -- Sun-Sentinel

LOL, being the only state that gives free money to those who have gotten sick after willingly smoking cigarettes isn't because we're progressive -- it's because we're the only ones dumb enough to do it. These kind of lawsuit stories against the big, bad tobacco companies are so stupid that they're not even worth writing about or commenting on anymore; the fact that I'm spotlighting this article at all is a big waste of time. I'm only halfway through and I don't even want to write about this anymore. It's that pointless.

And yes, the sleazy corporate parasites that work for Marlboro are deceptive, exploitive, and manipulative. But none of that should be powerful enough to override free will and common sense. These lawsuits (and so many like them) reinforce the woe-is-me Victim's Syndrome -- I knowingly and happily did something that would undoubtedly affect me in an adverse way, and now I want to cash in on my own poor judgment. That $600 million could be used to bolster the paychecks of underpaid teachers, civil servants, and government employees. Or, better yet, I can top that...the $600 million can be used to buy all of us free puppy dogs, ice cream sundaes, and wave runners. That would be an infinitely better use of the money.

And while we're at it, let's raise the cigarette tax. Then we can afford 2 wave runners per household.

Blue Jays release slumping DH Frank Thomas

I wonder who's gonna sign this 1st ballot Hall-of-Famer, because his career definitely isn't over yet. For anyone willing to put up with his bad attitude, Thomas definitely has a lot of value left as a designated hitter. He can still smack the ball stupid. And I especially don't want to see him retire yet because watching this 6'5" 250 lb. monster loom large over the plate is such a surreal sight. I always get a kick out of it; it's like a Yetti wandered onto the field and somehow wound up in the batting order. A reunion with the Chicago White Sox would be a lot of fun, but I'm betting the Yankees (blech) pick him up.

And of course, it's worth mentioning that Thomas has one of the best nicknames of all time: The Big Hurt. I'm gonna start encouraging people to start calling me that. It's so ill.

Retired Players I Loved To Watch #7 (He competed in the Slam Dunk Contest the year Kobe won)

Darvin Ham

He didn't have any actual basketball skills -- couldn't shoot, dribble, pass, or drive. He was strictly a run-and-jump athlete, a track and field player that somehow stumbled upon a bball court.

But he was one of the best leapers I've ever seen. He dunked like a monster. Check out the picture to the left, he was known for breaking backboards at Texas Tech. I always assumed that getting dunked on by Darvin must've felt like the end of the world; must've felt like the entire sky was crashing down on you. I could understand how he could get so much elevation (he was sleek and aerodynamic) but it always amazed me how someone so skinny could generate that kind of strength and power. His dunks were so nasty that it earned him the immortal nickname "Ham Slamwich."

He bounced around the league, playing for Milwaukee, Washington, and Atlanta. He even won a championship with Detroit, I think. He was a liability because he was so one-dimensional, and he was never more than a situational role player. But watching him bang on people's heads, in traffic, was always exciting.

And for the record, he wasn't a team's roster last season, so for all intents and purposes, I'm considered him "retired."

Darvin Ham's career statistics

What I Had For Lunch 4/21/08

A Publix sub.

And it was the jam!

I got a Boar's Head Ultimate (turkey, ham, roast beef) on wheat bread with mayo, spicy mustard, swiss cheese. I got all the veggies (I hate people who are picky about that stuff...just eat them! They taste good. And knowing most people, you probably won't get another chance to eat fresh produce all day), and finished it with oil and vinegar.

I also had Cape Cod kettle chips on the side. I'm almost completely unable to eat any sandwich without potato chips.

I'm very content now.

Headlines (You're breeding a generation of weirdos; McNair calls it quits; Skeletor)

More children going to school at home

"While still a tiny fraction of public school enrollment, home schooling is definitely growing. Broward County's total of 2,975 students is up 8 percent in a year. Miami-Dade's total of 2,504 is virtually flat to a year ago. Palm Beach County leads the state with more than 4,000 students. Statewide growth was 6 percent in a year." -- the Miami Herald

I'm not going to refuse a parent's discretion to do whatever he or she is best for their child, but by and large, I don't agree with the practice of home schooling. Excluding extreme cases of specific health or learning disabilities, I believe students should be in a real classroom, with real teachers, and real classmates. Home schooling, at its best, can be adequate; but at its very worst, it can be detrimental to the child's development and grossly irresponsible. The article mentions that the state has no set standards for curriculum -- that's terrifying. It should be considered criminal that a parent, if they were so inclined, could theoretically teach their children that the Eiffel Tower was built by space vampires, or that the 8th president of the United States was Batman, or that 2 + 2 = banana. Educating others, be it at the primary level or secondary level or whatever level, should not be taken lightly. It isn't a whim, something you frivolously take a stab at. The level of competence (or lack thereof) our state demands from our public school teachers is definitely debatable, but these people are still hired professionals. And as hired professionals, they at least deserve the benefit of the doubt that they can accomplish the task at hand, no different than how you would give your plumber the benefit of the doubt that they can fix the sink. The mere technicality of birthing a kid doesn't automatically award you the wherewithal to teach them. And the article mentions an end-of-the-year exam that all home-schooled children must take and pass, as if that were some kind of deterrent to sub-par teaching. If the kid passes the test, fine; if the kid fails the test, they just wasted an entire calender year.

And even if we assumed that the parent (or, a personal instructor, if the person so chooses) does an amazing job teaching their child, that doesn't even address perhaps the most important aspect of schooling -- socializing. In the article, a University of Miami child psychologist argues that this kind of set up "does not necessarily inhibit social development." She points to friendships the student can have outside of the house, after school hours. She also mentions group functions that parents of home-schooled children arrange so their children can get together and hang out. That's alright, I guess. But that seems alarmingly oblivious to the unique group dynamics that can only be replicated by an actual classroom. Children bully, mock, embarrass, and pick on each other. No one wants to see their kid get beat up, but facing those kind of challenges are essential to their longterm health. Kids have to learn how to defend themselves; figure out what kind of people and personalities they do and do not want to associate themselves with; and yes, learn how to feed on the weak and separate themselves from the slower, dumber of the pack.

And speaking from a completely biased and unscientific point of view, I can say that the kid down the street who was taught by his parents was a strange, creepy child. He wasn't a bad kid (he was actually pretty good at kickball, had a strong kicking leg), but he was weird. Really maladjusted and awkward. I haven't seen him in a decade, but I'd bet anything he grew up to be a creepy adult. I have a hard time believing that public school would've done him any more harm than home schooling did.


Ravens quarterback Steve McNair retires after 13 seasons

I'm sad to see him go. Forget about defense winning championships and controlling the clock with the running game and all those overused sports cliches; I like my football played up and down the field, high-scoring, fun n' gun. And that's why I loved watching Steve "Air" McNair play. He was like Dan Marino or Brett Favre, a gun-slinger that liked to pass the ball more than hand it off, liked to throw the long bomb on the go-ahead route, liked to take chances by threading the ball between two defensive backs. That style of play is exciting, and the NFL just got a little less fun with McNair around. I'll remember him for that amazing Super Bowl against the Rams, and winning Co-MVP honors the year I graduated high school. And when it comes to name-dropping great black quarterbacks, guys like Donovan McNabb and Michael Vick (well, y'know, BEFORE the dog-fighting) and Vince Young are always mentioned, but Steve was way better than all of them. In the pantheon of legendary black quarterbacks (the most PC thing would be to not make the distinction between white and black players, but PC is boring and uptight), his name belongs all the way up there with Warren Moon and Randall Cunningham. McNair was the complete package, he could make game-winning plays in the pocket, or on the scramble.

And let's not forget those fly #9 powder blue Tennessee Titans jerseys everyone used to wear in the early '00s.

Kids on beach stumble on skeleton

"Authorities say a group of kids playing ball on a beach discovered an adult human skeleton in the back yard of home near Daytona Beach.

The sheriff's office in Volusia County says Saturday's find in Port Orange is being investigated as a suspicious death. The person had been dead for a few months, but it's not clear if the remains belong to a man or woman." -- the Miami Herald

Okay, I know this for sure: either these kids were irreparably traumatized, or they were completely f'ing stoked.

I Love Cilantro

It's my favorite herb to cook with. I love it in my salsa and sprinkled on top of my tacos. It's so clean and fresh tasting. Oregano is overrated; parsley and chives are too innocuous and muted; rosemary and thyme can be too overpowering. Let it be known that cilantro is great.

Win or Go Home (My Playoff Picks)

The second quarter of the Cleveland-Washington game is already under way, so I'd better hurry up and finish this entry:

In the West:

Lakers over Nuggets in 5. I'm feeling kind of generous, so I'll say Denver wins 1 game. But that's it. The problem with the Nuggets is they have a lot of great individual talent (Carmelo, Iverson, Marcus Camby, Nene, JR Smith, Kenyon Martin), but I'm still not convinced that they mesh all that well. It's a fundamentally-flawed, poorly-constructed team.

San Antonio over Phoenix in 7. Like most sane people, I hate watching the Spurs. But you can never bet against them. They're like the Patriots. They never lose; and when they do lose, it's always a shocker.

New Orleans over Dallas in 6. The Mavericks are a bunch of chokers. Chris Paul is gonna mess them up.

Utah over Houston in 6. I'll believe Tracy McGrady advancing past the 1st round when I see it. But before then, I'm always gonna expect his team to lose.

And in the East (as if anyone cares, the Eastern conference is so awful):

Boston over Atlanta in 4. The Hawks are gonna get throttled.

Detroit over Philadelphia in 5. The Sixers are really scrappy, so I could see them eeking out a single win.

Orlando over Toronto in 6. I like Dwight Howard as much as the next guy, and I've considered Rashard Lewis one of the most underrated forwards for years, but I still don't care one bit about this series. I'll tune in if I'm bored.

Washington over Cleveland in 7. I'm tired of hearing about how great LeBron James is. Between Arenas, Caron Butler, and Antawn Jamison, the Wizards are too deep for the Cavs. Other than James, their entire roster stinks.

Retired Players I Loved To Watch #6 (It's so easy to misspell his name as "Brain")

Brian Grant

There was nothing fancy about his game. No frills. No fireworks. No bells or whistles. But that's exactly what I liked about him.

All of those tired, old sports cliches -- tough, gritty, blue-collared -- really did apply to him. And it was never lip service; Grant was always the hardest-working player on the court.

He had physical limitations, being a little undersized at 6'9" and lacking any explosion or exceptional athleticism (especially after his knees started to go), but he was able to score his 10 or so points and grab his 10 or so rebounds purely on hustle and desire. All of his double-doubles weren't so much a result of him being especially talented, but because he pushed himself harder than everyone else around him. Vaguely intangible concepts like "heart" and "passion" and "drive" can only get you so far in professional sports, but Grant managed to maximize those characteristics and build an impressive career on the virtue of strong work ethic.

Also, he didn't mind getting hit. He actually welcomed (maybe even as far as enjoyed) physical contact. He wasn't intimidated by bigger, stronger players. And that's why he was such a great rebounder and low-post defender -- he wasn't afraid of getting popped in the mouth. During games, he'd always have a bloodied nose or a black eye or a fat lip. You have to respect that.

Brian Grant's career statistics

What I Had For Dinner 4/18/08

I made a grilled cheese sandwich, with individually sliced yellow American and rye bread.

I should've left it on the stove a little longer, though. And I should've added more butter to the pan. It wasn't quite crisp enough. I'll do a better job next time.

And I was all out of tomato soup.

Party Shuffle (skipping not allowed)

Here are the first 10 shuffled songs that come up on my iTunes (no skipping, of course):

"Landlocked Blues"
Bright Eyes
I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning

This is his most polished, most complete album to date -- and that's saying a lot, because he's been releasing albums for over well over a decade now. Cliches notwithstanding, I really can play this straight through without ever wanting to skip.

And the highlight of this song comes at the very end; "So I'm up at dawn, putting on my shoes." For most of us, the obvious way to arrange the line would be "putting my shoes on," lining the syllables all up in a tidy little row and capitalizing on the ending rhyme scheme of "dawn" and "on." But he messes with the syntax by inverting the sentence, leaving us frustrated that he didn't cash in on the rhyme, but ultimately proud that he didn't take the easy way out.

"Silly Love Songs"
Wings
Wings at the Speed of Sound

Okay, I love Paul. He's 1/4 of my favorite thing (No, not just my favorite band, as that would be an understatement. But my favorite thing, of anything, period.) in the world. But Christ, I hate this song.

It's not just that it's sweet and sappy, because he's always been sweet and sappy. But that's all it is. Just that. There isn't any cleverness, nothing sly, nothing insightful. It's just a cheesy, disco-influenced song about him loving you. Bleh.

There hasn't been much Paul has done that's made me cringe. But this is one of the few.

"Jamming"
Bob Marley & the Wailers
Exodus

I don't toke, so Marley probably means a little differently to me than it does to most people. I tend to enjoy him entirely on a level of politics ("War," "Revolution"), spirituality ("Get Up Stand Up"), accountability ("I Shot the Sheriff"), and human rights ("Slave Driver," Rebel Music [Three O'Clock Road Block]," "Redemption").

But that type of music elitism shouldn't detract from just how plain fun this song is.

"Pink Bullets"
The Shins
Chutes Too Narrow

Not one of my favorite tracks off the album, and as a whole, not as strong an effort as their first album. But the cover artwork is awesome.




"God Only Knows"
The Beach Boys
Pet Sounds

I do agree that some people sometimes go way too far out of their way to lavish praise upon Pet Sounds. Is it really the 2nd greatest album ever made? I don't know, possibly. But either way, it's songs like these that you support the argument with. Hands down, one of the most beautifully written of all-time. Brian Wilson accomplished exactly what every writer (or just any artist, of any medium) spends a lifetime aspiring to: so completely and thoroughly outdoing oneself to the point of no return.

"I Never"
Rilo Kiley
More Adventurous

Hearing her sing always reminds you of how she was a child actor. "I've lied, cheated, stolen, and been ungrateful for what I had"...such perfect diction, articulation, enunciation. Each and every syllable is razor sharp. That's all from those countless acting classes her mom must've made her attend.


"Dumb it Down"
Lupe Fiasco
The Cool

I'm not crazy about the flow of this track. By ending every line with a hard "Ssss," the rhyme scheme becomes too choppy, too harsh. But I give him credit for fitting in "spit hot fire like Dylon."



"Better Late Than Forever"
Allister
Last Stop Suburbia

They're just one of those many throw-away bands that signed onto Drive-Thru Records during the big boom of the late '90s/early '00s. It doesn't age very well and holds practically zero re-play value, but hearing it again brings back some memories of the charm and naiveté of the 11th grade.


"Another Girl"
The Beatles
Help!

The highlight of this track is George's finger-dexterity, weaving in and out of Paul's vocals and John's steady rhythmic strumming. The best bit of noodling comes at the very close of the song. It's so jangly and twangy. That's what I love about 12-string guitars.


"Me and Julio Down By The Schoolyard"
Paul Simon
Paul Simon

Haha, this immediately reminds me of The Royal Tennenbaums. And of course I prefer the work he did with Art overall, but this is still one of the all-time, very best examples of a collaborative musician breaking away and forging his own solo career. He goes from making a classic like Bridge Over Troubled Water with Art, then immediately writes this album on his own (this song, "Duncan," "Mother and Child Reunion"). That type of seamless transition is nearly impossible.