Wordsmith

An expanded vocabulary, dictionary adds 100 new words

Merriam-Webster's Collegiate has added brand new words to our collective vocabulary. Here are the highlights:

Netroots (noun) - the grassroots political activists who communicate via the Internet, especially by blogs.

I like this one. There was this really pretentious girl -- this is definitely NOT an insult, as I'm using "pretentious," as I almost always do, with a positive connotation -- I had in my Literary & Social Movements class a few years ago that loved to use the word "grassroots." She would skillfully word-drop it into our class discussions at least twice a week (keep in mind our class only met twice a week). It didn't matter if we were discussing Roumain's Masters of the Dew, or Acosta's The Revolt of the Cockroach People, Menchu's I, Rigoberta Menchu, or Angela Davis' autobiography -- either way, it gave her the opportunity to inform all of us that each writer was trying to eliminate social unrest/political corruption/guerrilla warfare/racial oppression from a "grassroots level."

There's a lot of contemporary relevance to this new addition. It's important to the here and now. No one staples together homemade newsletters anymore; if there's something important to be shared, we run to our laptops and blog about it. I don't think "netroots" rolls off the tongue as smoothly as I'd like, but maybe it just needs time. What's really important is that considering the times, we can all get a lot of mileage out of it.

Edmame (noun) - immature green soybeans.

When ordering my appetizer, I usually opt for the Yasai Itame (sauteed vegetables), seaweed salad, or better yet, the Harusame salad (fried noodle salad with carrots and purple cabbage).

Fanboy (noun) - an enthusiastic devotee (usually of comics or movies).

I'm not a fanboy of Lost or Heroes or any pop phenomenon like that (I'm not sure if I have the time or energy for that level of extracurricular dedication), but I was a huge fanboy of Marvel comics during the mid-to-late '90s, specifically Spider-Man comics.

For instance, take "The Clone Saga" that ran through the Spider-Man titles from about 1994 to about 1996; basically, Peter Parker's clone returns from after long being assumed dead -- years earlier, the two Spider-Men fought, the clone is seemingly killed in battle, the real Spider-Man dumps his body in a smokestack, but the clone survives -- and re-enters his life. After a lot of teasing and hinting by Marvel, it's eventually revealed that there's been a horrible mix-up: the "real" Peter Parker is actually the clone and the "phony" Peter Parker (he has since adopted the guise of "Ben Reilly," using it as his alias as he wandered aimlessly all these years) is the real deal. It's like a darker, more sinster version of Twain's The Prince and the Pauper. Or, I suppose, an equally twisted version of The Parent Trap (either the Hayley Mills or Lindsay Lohan adaptation, whichever helps you understand this analogy better). The tragedy here being, of course, that these two men have been living a lie; one is a clone who thinks he's real, the other isn't a clone who thinks he's fake. Either way, both are a day late and a dollar short. Lose-lose.

The reason Marvel pulled this switch is because they felt Spider-Man was growing too far away from his roots -- he was aging, happily married, and had baby on the way. That's the exact antithesis to what the character originally stood for -- youth, autonomy, and hardship. By replacing Parker with Reilly, Marvel felt they were getting a fresh new Spider-Man without any of the baggage of adulthood. There's just something that will always be exciting about Spider-Man having to beat Doctor Octopus in order to make his dinner date on time. And that dynamic doesn't work so well when the date is actually his loving wife, and his loving wife already knows (and wholeheartedly accepts) that he's a super-hero. Our protagonists are inherently more interesting when they have girl problems, that's just how it is.

From what I can remember from the old AOL message boards, most fans HATED the switch. They felt duped and betrayed. Readers didn't want to accept the idea that the character they had invested so much interest (and money) in was an imposter.

But I didn't mind the change at all -- in fact, I supported it. I felt that Spider-Man had grown too stale and comfortable. He wasn't as relatable anymore. He didn't embody many (if any) of his original characteristics. Ben Reilly as the new Spider-Man opened up a lot of new storyline possibilities that wouldn't otherwise have been available to Peter Parker. It wasn't changing the character so much as it was streamlining and simplifying. Spider-Man had become too complicated, too convoluted. So this was back to basics. It was a return to what made him so popular in the first place.

But of course, Marvel buckled under the (husky) pressure of revolting comic book geeks and eventually restored the status quo. Everything was gutlessly reverted back to the way they were; the original Green Goblin was resurrected from the dead and revealed to be the mastermind behind the entire Clone Saga. Ben Reilly was, once again, the clone. And Peter Parker was reinstated as the genuine article. Reilly was killed by the Green Goblin and Parker took over as Spider-Man again. In one fell swoop, everything was restored, no harm no foul. Business as usual. Now I didn't necessarily oppose this return to the status quo, but I honestly would have had no problem if they stuck to their original plan. I would have been just as willing to read about Ben Reilly as I would about Peter Parker.

But that was all a long time ago. I'm not an obsessive fanboy of that stuff anymore.

Mental Health Day (noun) - a day that an employee takes off from work in order to relieve stress or renew vitality.

- "Well why don't you just go by 'Mike' instead of 'Michael'?"
- "No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks."


Subprime (adjective) - having or being an interest that is higher that is higher than a prime rate and is extended especially to low-income borrowers.

I don't know what this means. I assume it has something to do with Wall Street, real estate, bulls and bears, stocks and bonds, Alan Greenspan, and fancy briefcases. One way or the other, it bores me.

Pescatarian (noun) - a vegetarian whose diet includes fish.

Haha, I'm glad that overused Stupid Indie Kid terminology is slowly permeating our everyday vernacular. I suppose it's only a matter of time before Juno, Sub Pop Records, and tofurkey are officially added to the pages of Merriam-Webster's Dictionary.

Mondegreen (noun) - a word or phrase that results from a mishearing of something said or sung; originated from the mishearing of a Scottish ballad of "laid him on the green" as "Lady Mondegreen."

This seems to be the early favorite of all the new additions. The first mondegreen of my own that comes to mind is the opening line of Simon & Garfunkel's "The Boxer:" "I am just a poor boy, though my story's seldom told / I have squandered my existence for a pocketful of marbles."

The actual lyric is, "I am just a poor boy though my story's seldom told / I have squandered my RESISTANCE for a pocketful of MUMBLES."

I like their use of "mumbles" a lot better than my "marbles," but my "existence" works so much better than their "resistance." I'm sure I'd struggle to write a song from start to finish on my own; but if I could retroactively go back and cherry-pick specific words and phrases and change them after the fact, I'd be a human hit-maker.

Airquotes (noun plural) - a gesture made by raising and flexing the index and middle fingers of both hands that is used to call attention to a spoken word or expression.

I gesture wildly with my hands when I speak, yet I can't remember the last time I airquoted something. It's been a while.

Wing nut (noun) - one who advocates extreme measures or change; radical.

I am genuinely captivated every time I see or hear Ann Coulter on TV. I don't know if that necessarily makes me a fan, but if it does, so be it.