Final Jeopardy! 7/31/08

Category: The Persian Gulf

Clue: "It's national anthem begins, 'O Lord, protect for us our majesty the sultan.'"

Answer: Oman

I really had no idea. I thought it might've been Iraq, but I guess the fact that Saddam Hussein wasn't a sultan should've gave it away.

What I Had For Lunch 7/31/08

I warmed up some frozen buffalo style chicken strips with yellow rice & green olives and steamed broccoli.

This is one of my default meals. I cook it so often because it's so easy to prepare. And because it's so good.

What I Had For Lunch 7/31/08

A Reuben sandwich and potato bacon soup from Crispers.

The You-Pick-Two is never enough food, so I went with a full sandwich and a full bowl of soup. I was really pumped about my sandwich when I first ordered it, but the corned beef was way too chewy and rubbery. The sour kraut was good, but if given the opportunity for a re-do, I'd go for something else...probably something with turkey. The soup was great, naturally. And I swiped a pocket-full of saltines on my way out for the ride home.

Manny to the Marlins?

Marlins work on Ramirez deal as deadline nears

A deal that would make Manny Ramirez a Marlin remained in limbo Thursday morning as the three teams involved in negotiations continued working toward the 4 p.m. deadline.

The Marlins, Red Sox and Pittsburgh Pirates were trying to work out details of a complex trade in which the Marlins would receive Ramirez, a prospect and perhaps Pirates left-handed reliever John Grabow while giving up outfielder Jeremy Hermida and prospects. -- Miami Herald

This better happen.

With Manny Ramirez, Hanley Ramirez, and Dan Uggla all in the same starting line-up, we'll have three of the biggest bats in the entire league.

And with Manny here, maybe people will finally come out to watch the Marlins play.

Last Days

Last days at work are a funny sort of thing.

They're a testament to the surreal, an exercise in the absurd. It's like ignoring the 800-pound gorilla in the room, or ignoring the pink elephant in the room, or whatever other idioms we use to describe the painfully obvious.

Most of all, last days on the job (particularly part-time jobs) are just awkward. You're still expected to do certain things and fulfill certain duties -- ring up customers, answer phones, bag groceries, fold sweaters, stock shelves, help customers, bus tables, wash dishes, etc., etc. -- despite the very blatant fact that it kinda, sorta doesn't matter anymore. Sense of responsibility and work ethic aside, it's all a little pointless. It's like breaking your back trying to swab the deck of the Titanic -- it's a nice gesture, but it doesn't make a difference, it's going to sink anyway. Working your last shift is like living in an 8-hour alternate universe, one that has no consequence or repercussion. Essentially, you can do anything you want. If you do bad, you'll get fired (not preferable of course, but also not the end of the world, especially if you already have your next job lined up). If you do good, it isn't like you'll get a promotion or a raise in pay. And if you do nothing (which is probably the closest to the norm anyway), you'll simply get to leave at the end of the day. It's all the same, one way or the other; nothing lost, nothing gained. It's like a game, and the objective is who can pretend to care the longest.

It makes you wonder why they don't just make the second-to-last day of work your last day of work.

Final Jeopardy! 7/30/08

Category: Early American Short Stories

Clue: "This short story, written around 1820, contains the line "If I can but reach that bridge...I am safe!"

Answer: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

Nice, a chance for me to flex my literary muscles. This one was really easy...it was Washington Irving's Ichabod Crane. One one contestant got it write, and one couldn't even come up with a guess. The thing I appreciate most about Irving is that before he started writing, the genre of "American literature" could barely be called literature at all. It was all Thomas Paine political stuff, or Benjamin Franklin political stuff, or Thomas Jefferson political stuff, or hyper-religious, fire & brimstone stuff. Not that there's anything specifically wrong with any of that (well, maybe the fire & brimstone stuff) but our young nation had yet to take up the hobby of story-telling. Then Irving came along. And I've always felt kind of bad for him, because despite creating some of the more recognizable literary figures from early American lit -- Crane, the Headless Horseman, Rip Van Winkle -- most people would fail to identify him as their author.

And "Brom Bones" is just an ill name for an antagonist.

What I Had For Dinner 7/30/08

Chicken and white rice & beans from Pollo Tropical.

I was really in the mood for it, so it was great. Especially smothered in that garlic oil. But my only complaint is that the two closest Pollo Tropical locations are exactly the same distance away...and they really aren't that close to begin with. So by the time I get home, my food is already starting to get cold.

Glenn could join Dolphins (Bill Parcells used to refer to him as "She" when they were in New England)

Dolphins coach on Terry Glenn: We're turning over every rock to improve roster

With the passing game stagnant, the Dolphins acknowledged it makes sense to consider adding veteran receiver Terry Glenn to help bolster its inexperienced receiving corps.

Even though coach Tony Sparano categorized reports that the Dolphins are pursuing Glenn as "hypothetical," he admitted that the front office is turning over "every rock" to improve the roster.

"I'm sure it makes sense that you'd be interested. We know the guy. We know him. We've coached him," Sparano said of Glenn, who was drafted by Dolphins vice president of football operations Bill Parcells in 1996 while with New England. "God, Bill's coached him for years. I've had him for four or five years down [in Dallas]. So I know the guy."

"The thing that I do know is I have two people upstairs that do their due diligence on any player out there. Any player," Sparano said. "I'm sure that Terry Glenn or anybody else would be treated the same that way." -- Sun-Sentinel.com

Assuming his surgically-repaired knee is capable of supporting the weight of an entire NFL season, I'm all for it.

We're very thin at wide receiver -- Ted Ginn, Jr. has the potential to be a standout WR, but he's still only entering his second season; Derek Hagan has loads of potential, but struggles with concentration and drops way too many easy passes; with his towering stature, Ernest Wilford is rock solid in the red zone, but his lack of speed limits his versatility and makes him somewhat of a liability in the open field, Greg Camarillo and David Kircus are end-of-bench players, and Davone Bess and Jayson Foster are undrafted, unproven rookies.

I don't know how healthy Glenn is, but if he's even 3/4 the player he used to be -- when he was at his best, he was a 1,000-yard Pro Bowl player -- he definitely stands to improve our overall roster. I like the fact that he's a heady, experienced veteran. He knows the tricks of the trade...knows how to get open and how to get separation from defensive backs, knows how to handle pressure (he's played in a Super Bowl before), knows how to hold onto the ball, knows how to work the refs and draw pass interference penalties from cornerbacks. Someone with his experience could have a lot to teach a team as young as ours. And as an Ohio State alum, he could serve as a direct mentor to Ginn.

I hope we sign him. Coming off a 2007 season with only 1 win, we could always use the extra talent.

Final Jeopardy! 7/29/08

Category: Historic Names

Clue: He is quoted as saying, "another such victory over the Romans, and we are undone!"

Answer: Pyrrhus

I didn't get it right. I thought it was Caligula, but that doesn't make sense of course, because Caligula was Roman.

Final Jeopardy! 7/28/08

It's Tournament of Champions week.

Category: The Southern Hemisphere

Clue: Referring to the Great Bear constellation, this area's name is from the Greek meaning "opposite the bear."

Answer: Antarctica

I tried recalling all of my formal training in Greek literature, scanning my brain for everything from Homer to the Iliad to Odysseus to Helen of Troy, but I couldn't come up with anything. None of the three contestants got it right either -- 1 answered "Australia" but crossed it out, 1 answered "Ursa Minor," and 1 didn't answer at all -- so that helps in soothing my hurt pride.

My Favorite Is The Tiger Shark

It's here again.

For all Vaguely Indie and Quasi Scene Kids across the country, the Discovery Channel's Shark Week is the year's best seven days of television. That's just the way it is. The only possible way I could conceive of ever topping the excitement and fervor over Shark Week is if a network ever aired something along the lines of Zombie Week, or Dinosaur Week, or something remotely similar. Right now, I'm watching the special shark-centric episode of Mythbusters. They're doing the first myth right now:

When adrift at sea, does playing dead -- as opposed to thrashing around wildly -- discourage sharks from attacking?

This one seemed pretty obvious to me.

After working a pack of sharks (they didn't specify exactly which species it was, but judging from my expert eye, they appeared to be some kind of Coral Reef shark) into a frenzy with chum bait, Tory and Grant jumped into the water. One stayed perfectly still while the other wriggled around like a wounded fish; then, to cover all bases, they switched roles. The results were conclusive: the sharks habitually showed more interest in the live bait, while completely ignoring the dead bait.

That sounds about exactly right.

All of that is just hundreds of millions of years of instinct. As a predatory species, it's in their nature to go give chase to something that's more alive (i.e. hunting) instead of simply picking at something that appears to be less alive (i.e. scavenging). It's no different than a dog that takes off after a car as it drives by, or better yet, the T-Rex that initially ignored that tethered goat in Jurassic Park -- their hard-wired to react that way. So the fact that this myth was confirmed really doesn't say much...what did say much, however, was the loophole in their experiment that they conveniently glossed over.

The transmitted waves that a shark can detect are typically physical in nature (that is, the tangible rippling waves caused by thrashing the water) and also electrical (like a heart rate, for example). Even if a castaway stayed perfectly still -- and that's assuming he even has a life vest or some kind of flotation device; if not, he's obviously gonna be kicking his legs like crazy just to stay afloat -- it would make very little difference if his heart was beating out of his chest. Regardless of what the rest of your body may be doing, an accelerated heart rate will transmit through the ocean, which will bring attention to a shark, with will then (potentially) lead to an exploratory bite.

In this experiment, they were able to "play dead" (generally keeping their wits about them and avoiding cardiac explosion) because of the peace of mind of knowing that this is a controlled environment with multiple safety measures set into place to keep them from harm. In a non-experiment, they wouldn't have the same safety net. I'm sure their vitals spiked considerably during their time in the water, but I guarantee they'd spike three times as bad if this were for real. So as is sometimes the case with Mythbusters, there findings hold some scientific merit, but very little value for real-life, practical use. Basically, one would have to suffer a full-on heart attack to even begin to fool a shark into thinking he were dead.

There are a lot of other myths they're covering in this episode, but I'm already getting tired. It's gonna be a long week, anyway. There'll be a lot of time to get to them later.

What I Had For Dinner 7/27/08

Chicken Burrito Ultimo from Baja Fresh.

I always take full advantage of their condiment bar. I fill up 1 cup of cilantro, 1 cup of the mild verde sauce, 1 cup of the medium red sauce, 1 cup of the spicy dark sauce, 2 cups of lime wedges, 2 cups of salsa, and 2 cups of pickled jalapeños.

Final Jeopardy! 7/25/08

Category: Adjectives

Clue: Meaning "painful," it literally refers to the type of pain inflicted on Jesus & on the followers of Spartacus.

Answer: Excruciating

Even with my infinite vocabulary, I couldn't come up with an answer. I got really flustered and couldn't spit anything out. And before I knew it, time was up. In hindsight, it should've been really obvious -- "excruciating" comes from the Latin word "to crucify." Needless to say, just the thought of having nails driven through my hands (if you're theologically-inclined) or my wrists (if you're anatomically-inclined) makes me feel weak and light-headed.

What I Had For Dinner 7/25/08

Mushroom & pepperoni pizza, spaghetti and meatballs, and my leftover sushi.

I just ate three meals in one.

What I Had For Lunch 7/25/08

Went to a Japanese restaurant.

For an appetizer, I had gyoza (fried dumplings) and vegetable tempura. Then I had a Mexican roll (shrimp tempura, cream cheese, avocado, scallion, spicy mayo) and shared a Birthday roll (shrimp tempura, salmon skin, eel, cream cheese, scallion, asparagus, topped with avocado, and eel sauce).

The Birthday roll was a little busy -- there was just a lot of stuff in it -- but it was my favorite out of the two. There was a lot more depth to it. While the Mexican roll was, essentially, just shrimp tempura and white rice, the Birthday roll had a lot more complexity, a lot more levels of flavors. It was a multi-faceted sushi roll.

Final Jeopardy! 7/24/08

As a Public Service Announcement to those who A) read my blog and b) enjoy useless trivia, I'm planning to henceforth post the nightly Final Jeopardy! clue. Under the rare occasion that I'm not home from 7:30-8:00 PM Eastern Standard time Monday-Friday night (I'm a hermit), I've set up a Jeopardy! season pass on my TiVo.

So here it is...

Category: Famous Names

Clue: In 1906, he launched Conjurer's monthly, a magazine that he pretty much wrote & edited himself.

Answer: Harry Houdini

I had no idea who it was and couldn't even venture a guess, but the magazine's title probably should have been a giveaway. And as most of us already know, a fan of Houdini's met him in his dressing room and asked if the rumors of him being able to withstand any physical blow to the body were true. Houdini boldly claimed that he could, and then was unexpectedly punched in the stomach. He was soon hospitalized and eventually died a few days later of peritonitis sustained from a ruptured appendix. Now, he was already suffering from the early stages of appendicitis before his run-in with the fan and very likely could have died anyway even if he weren't hit in the stomach. But it's a makes for a much cooler story if Harry Houdini died because he was trying to act like a big shot.

Abominable Snow Monster; Dysentery

I submit that people don't love the computer game SkiFree as much as they say they do.

Dispositions will brighten and eyes will widen whenever the subject is broached during conversation, but nostalgia is like that; it romanticizes the past because we're disillusioned with the present.

Jumping those multi-colored ramps was kind of cool, I guess, and so was making the dog pee in the snow. But aside from that, it was only "fun" because it was less boring than any of those other old Windows 95 games. It's like standing next to an ugly person -- by default, you are instantly more attractive. Minesweeper was that ugly person.


Oregon Trail was more entertaining, but only by a very slim margin. Again, this is another game that benefits from the influence of outside, and otherwise unrelated, circumstances.

It's "fun" in the semantical sense that it's, by definition, a game. But more to the point, it's "fun" because it let us play on the computer in class (computers in the classroom was a rarity for me as a 3rd grader, but I imagine nowadays in futuristic 2008, they're ubiquitous) and, mercifully, it wasn't math. So once again, default.

It's funny, though, how the (imaginary) responsibilities I'm burdened with in Oregon Trail far succeed the (very real) responsibilities I have in my own life.

In the game, not only do I have to account for myself, but also the well-being of my entire family (I just played it online last night and I named my three children Latrell, Carmelo, and Kwame). Before heading out on the trail, I have to wisely budget $400 between oxen, spare wagon parts, food, ammunition, and clothing. Certain life-or-death decisions present themselves during the course of our trip, like what pace to travel in, how much food should be rationed out, to wade or not to wade across a 3-foot deep river, and what to do when Kwame comes down with cholera.

In my real life, I don't have anyone else to worry about -- not even so much as a pet goldfish -- but myself. Even if I did have a family of my own, I wouldn't plan any cross-country relocations. I typically have more than $400 at my disposal at any given time, and when it's time to spend some of it, I have the freedom to use it on something worthwhile (i.e. Nike Force Court Lows) and not on something retarded (i.e. an emergency wagon wheel). The only trail I'm going to be blazing today is from my front door to my mailbox, and then back again.

I assume the purpose of Oregon Trail is teaching you how to handle the challenges of budgeting, accountability, time management, and self-sufficiency. As it were, my life experiences as a 23-year-old have only prepared me for this game slightly more than my life experiences as a 13-year-old.

And if anyone is in the mood to play it again, here's a link: http://www.virtualapple.org/oregontraildisk.html

You'll get sick of it quick, but it'll be a solid 5 minutes or so before that happens.

What I Had For Breakfast 7/24/08

Golden Grahams.

They were just as good as always, but I just opened the box the other day and I'm already kind of tired of them. I have way too many open boxes of cereal laying around, so I'll have to get around to finally finishing some of them off before I can buy anymore. But I already know what I want from my next purchase: something peanut butter. So it's either Reese's Puffs or Cap'n Crunch's Peanut Butter Crunch.

Self-Diagnosing Me

My inherent worrisome and hypochondriac nature, coupled with my interest in reading random things on WebMD.com, has led me to the (mostly unfounded and, in all likelihood, inaccurate) self-diagnosis that I have Patellar Tendinitis in my left knee, also known as "Jumper's Knee."

This has been a recurring problem for me. It's been bothering me on and off, at varying degrees of intensity, for months now. I've already seen an orthopedic doctor for this -- I made the mistake of wearing jeans to the appointment; obviously, he has to look at my knee to properly examine it, so I had to take my jeans off and put on the office's grimy pair of communal shorts -- and after making me bend and squat and kneel and flex, he determined that there was nothing wrong with me. "A healthy young man," he said, with a "completely clean bill of health." But naturally, I know better.

Here's a description of the condition from athleticadvisor.com:

Patellar tendinitis or "jumper's knee" is a condition resulting from overuse of the knee.

Tendinitis is simply the inflammation of a tendon. This can be due to numerous factors. Some of the more common factors associated with this condition are:

• a rapid increase in the frequency of training,
• sudden increase in the intensity of training,
• transition from one training method to another,
• repeated training on a rigid surface,
• improper mechanics during training,
• genetic abnormalities of the knee joint, and/or
• poor base strength of the quad muscles.

Any or all of these factors can lead to the development of patellar tendinitis.

Basketball players are the most common athletes to experience this problem. Many athletes will make a transition from football to basketball during the school year. These two sports place entirely different stresses on the knee joint. The transition itself may be the only factor contributing to the condition. Other factors in these athletes may include: a change in training surface, increased amounts of continuous running and/or jumping, and the pounding associated with football.

The signs and symptoms of patellar tendinitis are fairly easy to detect. The athlete will complain of:

• pain in the area of the tendon,
• the knee will often feel "tight,"
• pain will be experienced early in the workout and after the workout is completed,
• there may be some subtle swelling of the tendon, and
• the athlete may feel that the tendon is "squeaking."

Treatment of this condition begins with continuation of a general fitness and flexibility program. The best treatment is prevention! The multi-sport athlete should utilize proper conditioning techniques to ease the transition from one sport to another. Proper conditioning should include aerobic fitness, lower body strength training, and lower body flexibility training. Flexibility is very important in preventing overuse injuries such as patellar tendinitis.

Once the condition is present, there are several treatment options. The athlete is strongly encouraged to remain active in practice as well as rehabilitation so that he/she will not detrain, fail to keep up on the offensive and defensive schemes of the game, and most importantly loose the mental drive to compete. The rehabilitation should be designed to decrease the symptoms, strengthen the muscles of the quad region and improve hamstring and quad flexibility.

Also, factors that may pre-dispose the athlete to this injury should be isolated and corrected. This could be as simple as improving the conditioning of the athlete (e.g. non-pounding conditioning such as interval training on a bicycle rather than running). If the tendinitis is due to a strength imbalance in the quadriceps and hamstrings, the athlete should begin exercises to target the weak muscles of the quads or hamstrings.

My knee is a kind of sore -- I don't have a significant limp, but I am walking around semi-gingerly and I can't push off my left leg as forcefully or as confidently as I'd like; also, I can feel a dull ache at at the end of the day and the front of my knee cap does feel a little tender to the touch -- so I'm assuming this must be the problem.

From everything I've read, this is typically associated with professional athletes, especially those who play sports with a lot of jumping (i.e. basketball, volleyball, etc.). At first glance, "professional athlete" wouldn't seem to apply to me, but I do play basketball for about 20-25 minutes at the park every other day or so, and I do own quite a few basketball jerseys (an away Philadelphia Sixers Jerry Stackhouse, an away Golden State Warriors Chris Webber, an away Charlotte Hornets Larry Johnson, a home Los Angeles Lakers Nick Van Exel, an away Miami Heat Alonzo Mourning). So I'm guessing, at the very least, I've earned the honorary title of "professional athlete."

I will continue to rest, ice, compress, and elevate.

(I'm overreacting.)

What I Had For Lunch 7/22/08

Fried Catfish.

It was perfectly cooked and perfectly seasoned -- not too crispy, not too salty.

When it comes to fried fish, cod may get most of the notoriety (because of fish & chips), but I prefer catfish. It's so meaty and substantial. If you didn't know better, you'd think you were eating chicken.

A close second for best fried fish would be tilapia.

Party Shuffle

First 15 shuffled songs on my iTunes. Nothing skipped, nothing doctored.

"Video Killed the Radio Star"
Buggles
The Age of Plastic

The quintessential example of a bloated, over-produced New Wave hit that was typical of the late 70's/early 80's. You can hear the countless man-hours that were spent laboring over this one song in the studio just by how much stuff is crammed onto the track -- extensive overdubbing, the inclusion of random sounds and noises, an instrumental coda of nearly an entire minute in length. It is a morbidly obese song, and I love it.

And of course...first music video ever played on MTV blah blah blah blah blah. This is one of those universally-understood bits of useless trivia that only impresses people who were born yesterday, then subsequently found residence under a rock.

"Take Lots with Alcohol"
Alkaline Trio
From Here to Infirmary

A great song off of my favorite Alkaline Trio -- yeah, better than Godamnit!

I recently added their new album to my iTunes, but I haven't gotten the chance to listen to it at any length yet. I'm hoping it isn't anything like their second to last album, Crimson. The beauty of early Alkaline Trio is their ability to be dark, sullen, self-destructive, and infectiously fun. In recent years, they've been JUST dark. A return to something closer to their roots would be appreciated.

"Mikey Rocks"
The Cool Kids
The Bake Sale

I like the lazy, slurring beat.








"Ready For The Floor"
Hot Chip
The Warning

They quickly became one of my favorite new ultra-cool, hyper-hip electronica dance groups immediately after this album came out. The production is so slick and infectious. They just know how to make things sound good.

"She"
Saves the Day
In Reverie

Yeah, the album was universally hated; it was the beginning of the end for Saves the Day's run as a band of any viable success, be it commercial or creative or otherwise. In a best case scenario, everything about this song -- the sugary-sweet lyrics, the soulful plucking of the acoustic guitar, the starry-eyed vocal delivery -- should have come across as disingenuous...and in a worst case scenario, this song should have come across as completely castrated and limp-wristed.

"She is a dying dandelion / Floating on the breeze / Twirling sweetly in the evening / She is the stars glowing gorgeously / She is the sloping clouds / Forever scrolling / Unfolding."

That's just really kind of weak.

But somehow, it works for me. I actually think this is a very strong track. I like it a lot. I see it as a sincere and heartfelt ode to a girl he knows. This should be a completely phony song, but it isn't.

"Hypnotize"
The Notorious B.I.G.
Life After Death

This track is, and always has been, my jam.

"Bang every MC, easily."

True that, Big.



"The Sun Also Sets"
Ryan Adams
Easy Tiger

I normally like literary references in my music. I usually find it charming and clever when musicians goof around with noteworthy quotes or book titles. But for whatever reason, I hate Adams' play on words here of Hemingway's The Sun Also Sets. It just bugs me. It looks hackneyed to me, looks totally devoid of any originality. It's akin to giving a song a tongue-in-cheek title like The Old Man And The Ocean, or something equally as lame. And keep in mind, I don't even like The Sun Also Rises! It's boring; he travels to Spain, he watches some bull fights, and then the story is over. Definitely not one of my favorite Hemingway novels.

As for the actual song, I uploaded this album a long time ago but have never gotten around to actually sitting down and listening to it. The smart thing would be to listen to this song now, but I'm restless and want to keep moving.

"She's Leaving Home"
The Beatles
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band

"Father snores as his wife gets into her dressing gown / Picks up the letter that's lying there / Standing alone at the top of the stairs / She breaks down and cries to her husband, 'Daddy, our baby's gone' / Why would she treat us so thoughtlessly? / How could she do this to me?"

That verse always gets to me. It's legitimately heart-breaking. And the final two lines are are truly revealing of human nature. Not to get too hung up on psychobabble, but it's a very astute sociological observation: the us will always, instinctively, give way to the I.

And I love the harps.

"Fit But You Know It"
The Streets
A Grand Don't Come For Free

A few years ago, I was convinced that the best hip hop was coming out of the United Kingdom -- the Streets, Lady Sovereign, Dizzee Rascal, etc., etc. But I'm patriotically proud to say that fad has since passed and the best hip hop is, again, homegrown here in the U.S. of A.

As for this song, everything about it (the cadence, the rhyme scheme, the vernacular, the accent) used to be charming. Now, not so much. It's a gimmick that's lost its luster.

"I Will Follow You Into The Dark"
Death Cab For Cutie
Plans

Transatlanticism was an important album to me senior year in high school, but regrettably, I've discovered that I can barely listen to any Death Cab (especially any post-Transatlanticism Death Cab) without skipping, cringing, or flat out laughing at how pathetically soft it is. It's completely and thoroughly passive. And problem is, I can't relate to any of it. I'm not a meek, sad, forlorn teenager anymore; I've since grown into a confident, headstrong, accomplished adult. I guess that's the double-edged sword of getting older -- your personality makes forward progress and you grow as a person, but you're left totally incapable of enjoying sappy old bands you used to love as a kid. It's sort of a shame.

And it's too bad, because this really is a beautifully-written song.

"Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now"
The Smiths
Hatful of Hollow

"I was looking for a job, then I found a job / And Heaven knows I'm miserable now"

Morrissey isn't so much depressing as he is wildly witty.

And for all the typical rhetoric of how dark and bleak the Smiths are, it's ironic that Johnny Marr's guitar-playing is some of the brightest sounding stuff I've ever heard.


"Listen Up!"
The Gossip
Standing In The Way Of Control

Big girl's got some big pipes.

I prefer their more dancier, more upbeat tracks, but this is still a great vocal performance.



"One Day Robots Will Cry"
Cobra Starship
Viva La Cobra!

So awesome.

Music that is fun, catchy, and without pretense (and, of course, actually good) should never be maligned.



"Do You Want To Dance?"
Bobby Freeman
Do You Wanna Dance?

"Do you wanna dance and a-hold my hand / Tell me I'm your lover man / Oh baby, do you wanna dance?"

Only a pop singer from the 1950s could come up with something so cheesy, so square, and ultimately, so accurately representative of everyone's inherent yearning for affection and companionship.

It's a line that, more or less, gets it completely right.

However, the very next line -- "Do you wanna dance and make romance?" -- is monumentally awful.

"Look Back and Laugh"
Minor Threat
Complete Discography

From a musical standpoint, I really don't listen to much Minor Threat anymore. But from a philosophical standpoint, Ian MacKaye and Minor Threat (and Fugazi) still figure into my everyday life. My morals, code of ethics, personal standards -- all directly shaped, to one degree or another, by Minor Threat. They may not resonate with me aesthetically or sonically the way they used to, but they remain one of the most influential bands to me, easy.

Let's Make It a True Daily Double

The category for tonight's Final Jeopardy was "Shakespearean Characters."

The clue was Caliban from the Tempest. I got it right.

My Bachelor's degree in English continues to pay for itself.

Yeah, 'The Dark Knight' was pretty awesome

Who should be the next Batman villain? Christopher Nolan has a serious vision and some bad guys just don't fit it.

MSNBC doesn't think it's too early to start thinking about which villain should show up in the next Batman movie, either. Here's a rundown of their list:

The Riddler

I don't know how easy it'd be for him to follow the Joker's act without looking like a cheap Joker knock-off himself, but with sharp writing, I think the Riddler could make a very interesting villain. Making him into yet another bloodthirsty, psychopathic murderer would be a mistake -- I'd actually suggest that the Riddler have no interest at all in killing people. If they really wanted to push the envelope, they should keep his body count at a whopping zero. The Riddler's motive should be an unrelenting and insatiable desire to stump Batman with one of his puzzles. I'm someone who constantly flaunts my lofty IQ, so I can understand the unhealthy (and borderline sociopathic) tendencies that can be shown by someone who always believes himself to be the smartest person in the room. The Riddler shouldn't have the same aspirations -- money, mayhem, notoriety -- as the common criminal; his main concern is proving his own worth as a self-proclaimed genius. This is what will separate him from the Joker and other lunatic criminals: he isn't nuts, he's just vain. Publically shaming Batman with an unsolvable riddle will validate his intelligence.

Now, the trick is making an audience feel any suspense over a villain who has no desire to kill. That'll take good writing.

Killer Croc

As far as hand-to-hand combat goes, Batman has fought three villains who are considerably below his fighting level (Scarecrow, Joker, Two-Face) and one villain who is, more or less, at his level (Ras Al Ghul). Basically, only 1/4 of the villains he's faced in two movies would be able to hold their own against Batman in a straight-forward boxing match. So I think this is the angle that could make Killer Croc an interesting character: he's bigger, faster, and stronger than Batman. Much more than his physical equal, Croc would be his physical superior.

I hate it when super hero movies try to cram too many super-villains into one movie -- i.e. Mr. Freeze, Poison Ivy, and Bane in Batman and Robin; Sandman, Harry Osborn, Venom in Spider-Man 3 -- but the article points out that Killer Croc may not have enough depth to his character to carry an entire movie, and I can agree with that for the most part. I could live with him appearing briefly in the third movie, getting into a run-in or two with Batman, and then getting quickly sent to jail. I think that could work. With so many of the other villain wrought with deep-rooted psychological issues, it could actually be refreshing to see Croc portrayed as a dumbed down, rampaging punching-machine. It'll make for good action scenes of gratuitous violence.

Visually, Killer Croc's monstrous and foreboding appearance (he was born with a rare disorder that gave him thick, scaly reptilian skin) could still fit right in with the rooted-in-reality image Christopher Nolan has created with his Batman series. If done right, I definitely think Croc could look scary without also looking ridiculous.

The Penguin

In the comics, the Penguin doesn't share any anatomical characteristics with actual penguins (the way he was portrayed in Batman Returns, for example). Instead, he's just a crime lord that likes wearing tuxedos. And while Batman's main antagonist should always be organized crime, I don't necessarily see anything specific to his character that would distinguish himself from any other crime boss. Basically, he's superfluous.


Man-Bat

I loved all the episodes with Man-Bat in the old animated series, but the idea of a scientist turning into half-man, half-bat creature seems too supernatural for Nolan's style.

It wouldn't translate well from comics to cinema, but he really is a dope villain.







Clayface

Same deal here. Visually, I'm sure he'd look awesome on the big screen. But I don't know how practical it is for the movie-version of Batman to fight a big clay monster that could morph his body into any and all shapes. It might be too out there.




The Ventriloquist and Scarface

The MSN article dismissed the idea of this villain -- he's a ventriloquist with an extremely suppressed personality disorder that leaves him in a nearly paralyzed state of shyness and meekness in his normal everyday life, but erupts in violence and hostility whenever he speaks through his dummy, Scarface -- being able to successfully resonate with fans, but I disagree. If the campiness is played down and the creepiness is played up, I think he could make for a very disturbing, twisted villain. He definitely couldn't carry an entire movie by himself, but I think he could support a minor subplot.

What I Had For Dinner 7/15/08

Supreme Pizza from Papa John's.

I'm not 8-years-old, so pizza isn't my favorite food anymore, but I suppose I could call it a sentimental favorite. And that still counts for something.

What I Had For Lunch 7/15/08

Tacos.

There are very few things I can think of that I'd rather eat.

In Honor of Satan and All That Is Unholy

I noticed that my blog's counter has hit the famed number of 666, so I figured I'd take the time to stop and reflect on John Milton's astute Biblical allusion in Book 2 of his epic poem Paradise Lost.

In The New Testament's Book of Revelations 13:18, the line reads: "Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man, and his numer is six hundred threescore six."

And in Paradise Lost's Book 2, line 666-671 reads: "Eclipses at thir charms. The other shape, / If shape it might be call'd that shape had none / Distinguishable in member, joynt, or limb, / Or substance might be call'd that shadow seem'd, / For each seem'd either; black it stood as Night, / Fierce as ten Furies, terrible as Hell,"

At this point in the poem, Satan has already persuaded Moloch, Belial, Mammon, Beezlebub and all the other angels that their best course of action for revenge against God is to travel to Earth and tempt his beloved new creations -- Adam and Eve. In order to leave Hell, he has to persuade Sin and Death to open the gates for him. For the sake of expository information, Sin is Satan's half-woman/half-serpent daughter, birthed from his head (read: another literary allusion by Milton, this time Homeric in nature), who then gives birth to Death, who then rapes his mother Sin, who then gives birth to a pack of Hell-dogs...it all gets a little confusing, but the point of the matter is, the horrible concepts of Sin and Death and corruption and disobedience have not yet made an appearance in Paradise Lost UNTIL Book 2's line of 666.


This isn't one of Milton's more esoteric allusions -- in fact, it's pretty obvious, even to the least well-versed reader -- but it's still appreciated nonetheless. After Satan steps through the gates and begins his trek towards Earth, both Sin and Death travel slowly behind, building a bridge from Hell's gates straight to the Garden of Eden, giving all the demonic spirits an expressway to follow. So it's only completely appropriate that the existence of death and decay and despair is first introduced in line 666. It's this near-obsessive attention to detail that makes Milton such an involved and intricate writer; a single stanza of his poetry is so jam-packed with allusions, allegory, symbols, and wordplay. It can be discussed/analyzed/deconstructed/agonized over until you're brain is numb.

(Disclaimer: many scholars think the real Number of the Beast is actually 616; also, many think that the number doesn't refer to Satan at all, but the Roman emperor Caligula.)

What I Had For Dinner 7/14/08

Went to Crispers -- it's basically Panera -- and had their version of a You-Pick-Two. I had half of a smoked turkey sandwich and potato bacon soup.

It was great, but my only complaint is that Panera gives you the choice of that free extra side (a piece of baguette, bag of chips, an apple, etc.) but Crispers doesn't.

What I Had For Lunch 7/14/08

Olive Garden. Spaghetti and meatballs.

It's easy to look down on the Olive Garden as the archetype for dumbed down, mass-marketed Italian-American fare -- but I love it. It's so generic and so mediocre and so good. Next time, I'm gonna order the cheese ravioli.

They could've been a little less stingy with the bread sticks, though.

Nuts

Haha, if he's a Reverend, then I'm the Pope.

And I bet Jesse Jackson really enjoyed Hard Candy.

Personally, my stomach is getting weak just thinking of it.